Ask Me Anything Page 20
I could deal with the rest of it later.
“Yes,” I said again. “Everything is perfect.” Well, not a total lie. Things were perfect between us. And while I’d debated coming clean about my end of the challenge and asking for his help, I’d decided against it.
No one else knew about the site, so no one else could get in trouble if worst-case-scenario happened. I had no intentions of letting it happen, but I’d rather keep him safe. He was waiting on his acceptance letter from MIT just like me, and if Tanner found out I was behind the site, I’d be expelled for sure. Causing this much trouble…he’d have more than grounds to do it.
I reached up on my tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips, reveling in the way warm shivers danced over my skin at the contact.
He grinned at me before grabbing our bags, and we walked through the station to where I’d parked in the pay-to-park lot. After I’d started the car, he reached over the gearshift to take my hand.
“Amber,” he said, his tone soft and pleading. “I can tell you’re chewing on something.”
I immediately stopped biting my lower lip, knowing that’s not what he meant.
“If it’s me,” he continued, “if it’s what happened, if it’s too much—”
“It’s not,” I cut him off but kept my eyes focused on the road. “I promise, Dean. Last night—” A glow warmed my cheeks as I grinned like a girl at Comic-Con. “I’m so happy.”
I started the drive toward his house, but I could feel his gaze on me. He had me pinned, seeing right through the mask I’d tried to keep in place since reading the article.
“But,” I said, relenting, “I am working something out in my head. Nothing to do with us. Well, sort of. It’s about our challenge. My side of it. I’ve run into a snag. And I’ve been mentally trying to connect with my gear since this morning.”
He chuckled, the sigh of relief not lost on me. “Wait,” he said. “You hit a snag this morning?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“You don’t have your laptop. And there wasn’t a computer in the room,” he said, the gears in his head turning. “So, it was something you had to see on your cell.”
I spared him a warning glance. “Don’t,” I said. “It’s not fair you trying to puzzle it out.”
“Fine, fine,” he said. “You know, if you wanted to drop this little bet of ours…in light of what’s happened…”
“What’s happened?”
“Um,” he said, clearing his throat. “You being my girlfriend?”
A thrill shot up my spine. Girlfriend? I supposed I was, but the word seemed small somehow.
I had been Brandon’s girlfriend.
With Dean? I simply felt like…his.
I laughed. “That just makes me want to beat you more.”
“Really?” he teased. “Well, then. Keep on bringing it. Maybe you should come inside when you drop me off.”
“Reasoning?”
“Like you need it?” he faux-scoffed. “I could distract you. Keep you from fixing this snag for a few more hours.”
The thought swirled heat in my core. Being in Dean’s room, in his arms, on his bed…
“No,” I said a little too quickly. “It’s important.”
“How important?” he asked, and when I glanced at him, his eyes were wary.
Damn. He was sniffing a little too close. Because why would it be so important I couldn’t spend a few more hours with him? Unless it was big. Too big.
“So important that I’m turning down time with you.”
“That worries me,” he said. “Can I help you?”
My heart warmed at his instant offer, but I shook my head.
“No,” I said. “I’ve totally got this. I just have to get back.” I pulled into his driveway, throwing the car in park and shifting to face him. “Thank you, though. For everything.”
He shrugged. “You’re the one who took me to see deadmau5. And then…”
I raised my eyebrows, waiting.
“Let me in.” He leaned over and brushed his lips against mine. My eyes fluttered closed, a soft sigh releasing when he pulled away far too soon. “Sure you don’t want to hang for a bit?”
My heart said yes.
My body said hell yes.
My mind?
“I’m sure,” I said. “I would if I didn’t have this thing.”
“No worries,” he said, flashing me a smile that shook my knees. “I’ll catch you later.” He winked and then stepped out of the car.
I watched him walk through his front door, trying to calm my breath. The spark between us was so new and fresh and demanding to be fed. The sensation deliciously coursed through my blood.
Too bad it was short lived. Because as I pulled out of his driveway and started the drive toward my house, I had the sudden, irrational fear that a slew of parents would be outside my home with handmade signs, screaming their hate for my site. For me.
Before I get to the question of the day, I’d like to say something.
Over the weekend, I found out some parents had wandered onto this site—this little corner of the web that was meant solely for you.
Now, I’m not upset that they found it. I’m sad that some of them think I’m…something I’m not. I am one of you. I assumed I’d proven that. I can’t reveal my identity for obvious reasons, but I will say this: to any parents who have found the new code and are reading this…I am no predator.
I’m a student. A teenage girl. One who is tired of hearing about how her friends can’t find answers to questions they need. Tired of being ridiculed at school because we don’t conform to the mold they think we should be in. This is our space. A place to find help. And I’m not going to stop as long as there are questions that need to be answered. I had intended this blog to be solely focused on questions regarding sexual health—the answers they couldn’t find from school or elsewhere—but now…it’s grown into something more. The questions I’m receiving go beyond sex, and I’m here, grateful to be a part of this journey. No one is going to take that from me, not when so many are reaching out for help.
So, without further preaching…
Question of the Day
QueenButterflyFae20 asks: “I think I’m in love with my BFF. She knows I’m a lesbian but doesn’t have a clue I’m into her. And while she’s bisexual, I’m afraid if I tell her, I’ll lose her friendship forever, but I don’t know how much longer I can bury my feelings. Thoughts?”
Wow, I can’t imagine the tough situation you’re in. Such a difficult choice to make—keep what’s really on your mind hidden or tell her and risk losing her.
For me, it would come down to this: what does your heart say?
Is it telling you to hang on to her as a friend and treasure that time together while you find yourself interested in other girls?
Or is it telling you that you can’t sleep until she knows how much you care about her? That you’d rather her know the truth than go another day with her being in the dark?
If you think you’ll find yourself interested in another girl soon, then it might be wise not to cross that friendship line.
If your heart is set on her, then talk to her. Tell her the truth. Tell her how much her friendship means to you, but that you couldn’t continue keeping this secret. As your best friend, she’ll be the best source to ease your worries anyway. And a true friend won’t run because of you telling the truth. She’ll likely respect you for it. And you’ll be able to rest easy knowing you’re no longer holding on to these feelings alone.
I’m sending you all the good vibes and hoping you find your happily ever after—whichever path you choose to take. Please keep me posted!
In the meantime,
Stay Sexy. Stay Healthy.
Chapter Twenty-One
Dean
NightLocker: Hey Pixie
NightLocker: You busy?
PixieBurn: Not at the moment
PixieBurn: You miss me already?
NightLocker: Always
I grinned at the screen, congratulating myself on the restraint I’d demonstrated. I had waited an entire night before sending her a chat box this morning.
PixieBurn: Was thinking about you too
NightLocker: :)
NightLocker: You finish your secret important thing?
PixieBurn: For the moment
PixieBurn: Why?
NightLocker: I need your help
Something itched the back of my brain at her for the moment response. Whatever she had put into motion for the sake of our challenge seemed to have a bigger responsibility than she initially thought. I could tell that much by the way she’d dodged my questions yesterday. Which made me wonder if she could as easily tell that I was hiding something—that I’d been keeping her in the dark about just how far Tanner’s pull over me went. I rubbed my palms against my face, forcing those thoughts out of my head.
PixieBurn: I have a shift in a couple hours
PixieBurn: Want to meet me there early?
NightLocker: That works
NightLocker: Bring your gear
PixieBurn: Always ;)
She logged off, and I followed suit, shutting my screen. Packing up my gear only took a few minutes, and I had to remind myself not to speed to Amber’s work.
It wasn’t just the prospect of the team hack I had planned; it was her. I’d spent the entire day and night with her the day before yesterday, but I buzzed with excitement as the bell rang when I pushed through the coffee-comic-shop’s door.
Immediately, as if I couldn’t help it, my eyes were drawn to Amber, who occupied a table in the far back corner. Two white mugs steamed in front of her, but her eyes were glued to her laptop.
“Were you already here?” I asked, setting my bag down.
She hopped up from the table, throwing her arms around my neck. I breathed in her sweet scent, holding her light frame against my chest.
She missed me, too.
Win.
“Yes,” she said when she stepped out of our embrace and reclaimed her seat. “I had some work to do before my actual work.” She chuckled, motioning to the mug on my side of the table. “Americano,” she said.
“Thanks.” I sat and took a fast sip, glancing around the shop. It was dead this time of evening, everyone likely rushing home after work.
“So,” she said, lowering her voice, “what are we doing?”
I smirked, scooting around the table and lining my chair up with hers. I slid my laptop out of my bag and set it up. “You remember the Taylor Swift incident?”
She smiled after sipping her green tea. “How could I forget your sweet dance moves?”
I cringed a little. “Well, that was my brother.”
“Sean,” she said, arching a brow. “I’m helping you get revenge in a brotherly feud?”
“Too much?” I asked.
“Never. DC, right?” She clapped her hands together and rolled her neck. “What do you have planned?”
I lowered my voice to a whisper as if Sean had cameras and devices listening in everywhere, and told her the plan.
“Thoughts?”
“Brilliant.” She took another sip of tea. “But I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t want to drag you down.”
So whatever she’d done for our challenge didn’t involve penetration. Good to know. I waved her off. “You could never drag me down,” I said. “You’re incredible. Why do you think I asked for your help?”
She’d likely be able to uncover the source of Ask Me Anything in one sitting. Last night, I had actually tried to track the person down—not that I would hand them over to Tanner, but for my own sanity. I hadn’t been able to get through their security. But…as much as I wanted her help, I had to keep her safe.
“Because you wanted a free Americano?” she teased, bringing me back to the task at hand.
“Well, yes, there is that.” I winked at her, drawing up the back door I’d always used to get into Sean’s computer.
“Here,” I said, sending it to her computer. “This is what I’m working off of.”
She clicked it open, her eyes reading the lines of code fast, the comprehension clicking near-instantaneously.
Damn, that’s hot.
I rested my hand on her jean-covered knee then immediately drew it back.
Focus.
Maybe roping her into this prank was a bad idea. She was one hell of a distraction.
“You okay?” she asked, shifting in her seat so her leg rested against mine.
“Perfect,” I said. “Just trying to learn how to hack while sitting this close to you.”
She leaned over and kissed me then, a fast, hard press of her lips that heated my blood.
“Wicked Pixie,” I said when she sat back in her seat.
“What’s the task?” she asked, a devilish grin on her beautiful lips.
“How about you change all his commands—”
“So anytime he tries to use one it responds with ‘No’?”
“Hell. Yes.” I nodded, amazed she was already one step ahead of me. “And I’ll do a screen shot overlay with removed icons.”
She laughed. Damn this girl was perfection.
“On it,” she said, her fingers flying over the keys as she slipped in the back door. It was no easy task—a process way above and beyond anything Griffin would ever teach us—but she was in as quickly as if I’d shown her how to do it step by step. I didn’t even have to tell her to patch the back door once she was inside—she did it automatically, knowing how to exploit the vulnerability but seal it behind her so no one else could do the same.
Brilliant.
With both of us working simultaneously, we might just get in, change the commands, and get out before Sean ever detected us. That’s why I’d needed her help to pull off a hack this big—the two of us cut the time in half.
And Sean more than deserved it.
An hour later, we’d managed to own his system. In addition to switching the commands and icon removal, we’d scrambled the functions, too. Pressing one would cause a different result than the original. He’d either have to learn the new pattern, or he’d have to destroy our code.
I knew he could do the latter in his sleep.
But it would still be funny as hell in the first few moments where he wouldn’t have a clue what was going on.
“Are you sure he won’t murder you for this?” Amber asked, packing away her laptop. “I would hate to lose my…” She stopped herself short.
“Your what?” I teased, tucking my gear away.
She shrugged, glancing at her mug. It was empty save for the few tea leaves that clung to the bottom.
I leaned in close to her, teasing her neck with the tip of my nose. “He won’t,” I said, loving that chills rose on her skin at my light touch. “He’ll be pissed at first. Then he’ll laugh. Then he’ll plot the next attack.” I sat back, eyeing her. “It’s what we’ve done for years.”
She smirked. “Ah, but you’ve stepped up your game. Recruiting help.”
I chuckled. “I have to. He’s way above my level.”
“You’re closer than you think, I bet.”
“Thanks,” I said. “But I’m not being humble. He’s skyrocketed his skill set in the last two years. Ever since Inkheart hired him. He’s getting paid for the kind of experience some people would kill for. They’re teaching him more than MIT.”
“Badass.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s one of the reasons why I’m going to own the TOC and rock a boot camp this summer. I want the experience to shine on my resume. And as long as MIT accepts me…”
“They will,�
�� she said. “And here I am solely focused on getting that acceptance letter and not even thinking about getting hired by a company. I’m practically a slacker.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s the last thing you are,” I said. “You’ll get your letter. I have no doubt.”
“Still. You have your whole future mapped out. I haven’t thought past March.”
I laughed, smoothing my hand over her back. “You don’t need to have a plan. You’re already going to slay Security Systems this summer.”
She tilted her head from side to side. “I am stoked I got into that one. I honestly didn’t think I would, with the selection process they go through. Mom about lost her mind when I told her the cost.” She shrugged. “I had more than half of it saved up.” She glanced at the counter. “And in about thirty minutes I’ll be clocking in to earn my way out of the loan she fronted for the rest.”
“You work harder than I do. I honestly didn’t think it was possible,” I teased. I was so lucky my parents hadn’t forced me to get a job. Between hacking and actual schoolwork, I rarely had time for anything else. Especially not a girlfriend…but here I was. Completely awestruck by Amber and beyond happy she was mine.
Both our cells buzzed on the table. I glanced at mine while Amber ignored hers.
“Another one?” I asked, half grumbling. “Where does this person find the time to post so much?” I spared a glance at her cell. “You’ve been following the blog, too?”
Amber narrowed her eyes on my cell. “Oh,” she said, slightly jolted. “Sometimes. Wait, you read the blogs?”
I swallowed hard, hating that I couldn’t tell her the truth…the reasons why I was following it. “Occasionally,” I said. “Tessa told me about it the last time I bribed her with a brownie session. It’s not like I’ve ever written in or commented or anything.”
I swiped to the left, my screen instantly filling with the person who Snapped about the blog—Sabrina—and saw her commentary and all the comments below hers. “Whoa,” I said, pausing in my quest to leave the group. “Tessa?” I squinted, recognizing her Snap handle.
“What?” Amber sat up straighter in her chair. “What’s she saying?”